The Abilene Paradox: How Group Decisions Can Lead Us Astray

Have you ever found yourself saying ‘yes’ to a plan, even when every fiber of your being screams ‘no’? Welcome to the Abilene Paradox. This psychological phenomenon occurs when a group collectively decides on an action that contradicts the preferences of its individual members. The reason? Each person mistakenly believes their feelings are counter to the group’s desires.

Picture this: an acquaintance invites you to his wedding. You don’t want to go, and he doesn’t really want you there, but you both play along, assuming it’s what the other wants. This paradox isn’t confined to social settings; it infiltrates businesses too. For example, a team might approve a controversial decision, like recruiting a specific influencer as a brand face, not because they all agree, but because each fears being seen as transphobic for objecting.

Even in extreme scenarios, like families in oppressive regimes, this paradox plays out. Individuals may secretly despise the ruling ideology but never voice their dissent, believing they’re alone in their thoughts.

This phenomenon isn’t just an inconvenience; it’s a barrier to authenticity and progress. Recognizing the Abilene Paradox is the first step to breaking its spell. It’s about valuing honesty over presumed consensus, ensuring that decisions are genuinely collective, not just seemingly so.

Credit: @chriswillx

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project_shadow_us

2024-04-12 10:56:31

the abilene paradox is a situation in which a group makes a decision that is contrary to the desires of the group's members because each member assumes the others approve of it
and explains how a number of accurate individuals
can become idiots when they get together
an acquaintance invites you to his wedding despite not wanting either because he thinks you want to attend you attend despite not wanting to
because you think he wants either
at a business meeting someone suggest an idea he thinks the others were like perhaps recruiting a trans influencer as the face of the brand each member has misgivings about this but assumes the others will think that they're transphobic if they speak out so everyone approves the idea despite no one liking it or every member of a family in north korea who hates communism but they never mention this to each other because it's each assumes that the others approved that i've had this on social occasions as well where you'll be at dinner and it will be getting later and later
and nobody's left yet
and sometimes i'll be sat there looking at the clock i'm going to leave my belief and in one personally the high agency things it is a mexican wave of people exit the whole thing