are meant to be physically skin to skin close to you because that forms attachment security

it doesn't mean every single minute because the other thing that we don't do in this country is we don't raise our children and extended family situations like other parts of the world so this weird kind of ethos of individualism and isolation and self-sufficiency this idea that we're all meant to live independently of one another actually no because independence is not the goal it's interdependence and that means that we never raise children nice relation we always raise children with grandmothers and aunts and store neighbors who are called aunt and who's an alternative attachment figure

who can entertain the baby and hold the babies but when the baby is in distress baby is handed right back to the mother

it is also important for mothers to have breaks to be able to just not be within their sphere of the baby for a few minutes think about closeness and and separation in space as a dance and with a newborn baby i would say there's more closeness than speed