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danharris

2024-05-02 17:28:20

and here's something i wish i knew a million years ago about how to handle it when i'm coming up in buddhism we talk a lot about the difference between
guilt and shame on the one hand
and wise remorse on the other
this is a key distinction
when you mess something up and you go into guilt and shame
you're telling yourself a whole story not about the incident itself but about who you are as a person
you're just ah
basically making it all about yourself when you go into this
long internal discussion about what a horrible person you are
on the other hand with wise remorse you really just focusing on what went wrong and why not not
your
incurable dysfunction which isn't true anyway just like what happened there
and
when you do that you prime yourself to make an apology if it's necessary and you prime yourself to do a proper analysis
of the mistake itself so next time you screw up and i suspect to
you'll have an opportunity sometime soon if you're anything like me next time you screw up try to remember to ask yourself this question am i doing ah
am i doing
guilt and shame right now or wise remorse
give it a try
and her basement