if i was upset and my husband asked me why and i told him hey you know i just don't like the fact that we don't do x y and z together very much

and then all of a sudden my husband makes an effort to do x y and z

and i'm not happy about it

i'm not happy about it because you didn't know that i just wanted to do x y and z with you you're only doing it because i asked you to and not because you really want to and so i don't feel good about it

this probably comes back to also not feeling like i can enjoy myself if i communicate something that i want over what someone else wants

but the reality of the situation is that's ridiculous i should be so thankful and grateful and happy that he's listening and that he's taking the time and putting the effort in to do the things that make me happy to listen to what i'm communicating to him and and make an effort to do these things it's a good thing you can't expect your spouse or your friend or your partner to just read your mind and if you communicate things that are important to you to them and they take the time and they put the energy into make these things a reality be appreciative