thinking about breaking up or getting a divorce these are three things that you have to know first number one you are in the loop of doom cycle every relationship will go through this cycle and over ninety percent will fail let me explain this is the relationship loop of doom and how this loop of doom starts is that one of these partners because triggered first doesn't matter who says this guy he feels maybe it's from work unworthy not good enough or maybe feeling safe stressed out or maybe feeling guilt or shame maybe you made a mistake is doing guilt or shame either way something triggers these emotional wounds what happens is that this person as a result of feeling these wounds is going to do a coping behavior and that's going to look like shutting down stonewalling it's going to like distracting himself with work video games other people so on and so forth or avoiding conflict avoiding conversations pulling away this is all in an attempt to soothe this pain here but what is it going to do instead in actuality was going to instead trigger the emotional wounds of his partner where she will feel alone unseen unheard and when she feels any of these wounds she's going to cope with it by doing these coping behaviors which are criticizing she will project emotion to angry emotional control or manipulates the situation to soothe this pain right here she wants to do this to sue these pains here but of course was going to do instead it is going to instead trigger him even more and guess what the more you feel these triggers the more he does these behavior