Here’s why small talk can save you from betrayal or being abandoned: Most would rather skip the boring stuff and be real, I get it. But this overlooks the reason we need small talk: It's not just about the weather; it's how you tell if some will betray you or if they are trustworthy.

When you’re talking about boring things, watch to see if they can be normal, express empathy, pay attention, listen, and ask real questions. Think of it like you’re dipping your toes in the water. Small talk is all about finding something you have in common (even if it’s boring or obvious) and then getting more and more real with every passing moment.

If they:

- start daydreaming and stop looking at you
- ask the same question over and over (like they forgot)
- talk the whole time (and doesn’t realize you’re bored)
- doesn’t ask YOU questions…

They’re not trustworthy. If they act that way about the weather, it’s a good clue they will act that way about your breakup, your job, your family, or your depression. Screen cap and share this. People need to hear it.

#1 #smalltalk #strongrelationships #deepconversations #meaningfulconversations #empathy #makingfriends #BuildingTrust #mentalhealth #AuthenticConnections
Avatar of matthiasjbarker

matthiasjbarker

2024-04-13 15:12:58

smalltalk is a test and if you fail people won't trust you i get it you don't want to talk about the wedding or the game or the weekend it's boring and it's awkward and i
i agree but small talk is not just this awkward formality it's actually a test to see if you can be trusted like if you can't be normal talking about the weather
how are you going to be normal talking about something personal like you're at a party or something that someone meets you and i don't know they ask i didn't see the game this weekend and your cycle no i don't really watch sports
and then they go on for twenty minutes
talking about the game
that person cannot be trusted like if you have no awareness that this is a pointless conversation that i'm not interested
hamas adjust you'll see me
if it matters if we're talking about something real right small talk is a test
it's these boring little hobbies or where do you work whatever just to see how you behave and then you move deeper and into more personal domains after i know
you can be trusted
you can be normal right so stop rushing this office appointments interaction it's a test
treat it like it is it's a necessary test for building trust