you're not where you want to be in life find somebody you look up to just look at all the facets of life and say like do they rank higher than you your next door neighbor could be a great frame as long as they're one step ahead meaning do they seem happier with their spouse do they have objectives way more money than you are the more able than you like they can get more done than you and just put things through their frame of reference would they want to do this if they wouldn't do it what would they do instead if they were going to do it how would they go about it it's better than remaining where you are