it's called the t method it may completely change your relationship it did for ours and here's how you do it the first step of the check-in touch it's to remind yourselves with touch you're in this together the second step education you eat share one thing you learned that day that was interesting a fact truth whatever the next step is appreciation you eat share one thing you appreciate about the other only rules are waits for creativity and you can't keep using the same thing and the last step metrics usually when you're upset you tell them that moment that gets nagged with the check-in you wait you read it down you don't fight when you're elevated but you always get to explain your point i think if you want an easy relationship you should stay single nothing that's worth it is easy